16 Things I Learned in 2016
For me, the beginning of each new year is always about reflection. What did I do last year? What made me happy? Sad? What do I want to do again?
But the most important question I always ask myself about a recently-finished year is this:
What did I learn this year?
Of course, it wouldn't be very beneficial for me to try and go through and review every single fact, detail, or new bit of information that I picked up during the span of the last twelve months. Instead, I try and go through the biggest lessons I learned over the year and how they can help me be better in the coming year. In this post, I am going to try and get out the most important things that the year 2016 taught me. Hope it makes sense.
Lesson 1: The path you ultimately take is different than the one you think you will (and that's okay)
If you asked me on January 1st, 2016, to tell you how I imagined 2016 would go, I probably would have told you something that's not even close to how the year actually went. I didn't expect to become senior class president. I didn't expect to be friends with some of the people I am. I didn't expect to do some of the things I did or experience some of the things I experienced, but they happened. The idea I had in my head of how 2016 would go was pretty far off.
But I'm glad it was.
I'm by no means a cynical person, but I guess I just didn't really plan on a lot of the things that I did last year. The path I took wasn't the one I planned on; it was better. And I'm so incredibly grateful for that. I don't know where 2017 will take me, but I'm excited to be surprised yet again by the places life goes.
Lesson 2: Figure yourself out first
In 2016, I made some mistakes, and honestly, I hurt some people. I am ashamed to admit it, but I did some things that were incredibly thoughtless and I regret those things immensely. Looking back on it, I realized that these mistakes could have been avoided entirely if I had just taken a step back, evaluated things through a clear and conscious mind, and worked from there. Instead, I didn't take the time to work out my feelings, and things ended quite poorly.
In the moment, it's hard to stop. It's frustrating (and humiliating) to admit to yourself that you don't understand what you're feeling. And truly, it's almost easier to ignore yourself and just go with the flow. But from personal experience, I discovered that confusion can definitely cause some major headaches. And maybe I say this from the perspective of a confused teenager with a shallow mind and a blurred understanding. I don't know. All I can say is that this year I'm going to do my best to make sure I know what's going on in my own head before I press on.
Lesson 3: Turn on some good music and take the long way home
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is so important that you can't spare a few extra minutes on your way home at the end of the day to take some time to yourself and just relax. Find a good radio station or plug in a good playlist, and just let the road take you where it runs. There are very few things more therapeutic than some good tunes and the open road. It's a space to think, to meditate, and to take a deep breath. If that doesn't sound enjoyable, I sure don't know what does.
Lesson 4: You don't always have to have a plan
People are often overcome with the idea that every single detail in their lives must be planned out with exactness and precision in order to work out. News flash: life doesn't care about your plans. Of course, you can go ahead and organize yourself however you want to. However, 2016 taught me that learning to adapt to the unexpected is infinitely more valuable than trying to make a schedule for each small component of your time.
I've found that the most enjoyable memories I've made come at times that I didn't necessarily plan for. Spontaneous adventures are almost always more fun and exciting than over-planned outings. So maybe what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to have a laid-out scheme to have a good time. Sometimes, the good times come just out of nowhere.
Lesson 5: Stay up past your bedtime
You can judge this however you want to, but night time is definitely my favorite time. Picture: it's 2:00 AM. Peaceful. Snow has begun to fall lightly on the empty roads. The world is quiet, unconscious. Everything seems to slow down to accommodate for the silence, as if too much movement would throw off the balance of the quiet void. I don't know why, but this scenario is one of my favorite things ever.
Maybe it's just my own weird personality, but staying up late at night helps me get my thoughts in order really well. Granted, not all of my late-night thoughts are the most coherent things in the world. But I love the feeling of being awake when the world isn't, or at least the tiny little part of the world I can see from my bedroom window.
To be fair: I won't advise you to waste your life away by always staying up late and ruining your health because you won't get enough sleep. That is obviously not a good idea. But every once in a while, when the world goes to bed, stay up. I promise you'll be glad you did.
Lesson 6: Human relationships are the most important things in life
2016 taught me that there are a lot of things that can take up your time. From work to school to entertainment to social media to everything else that life has to offer, it's easy to get caught up in a lifestyle that's overly-busy. In the midst of this complicated life, it's sometimes hard to decide how to prioritize things.
But if there's one thing to remember, it's this: the people in your life (and your relationships with them) are more important than anything else.
Every single time.
If you ever get the choice to hang out with your friends or sit at home watching Netflix, go out. I know, Netflix is fun and sometimes you just want to sit around and do nothing. But don't ever let anything take priority over quality time with other people. I promise, I promise, I PROMISE this will make you the happiest.
Lesson 7: It's up to you
One of the things I realized last year that's the most important is that everything in my life is prettymuch governed by my own choices. Although I know that this is not the case for everyone in the world, that's how it's been for me. And so I discovered that there is nothing holding me back from being exactly who I want to be. If I want to change my lifestyle or my attitude or my personality, I totally can.
I can't say that I necessarily feel like I need to make a huge change in my life right now. I mean I know I'm not perfect, but I think I'm doing alright. Regardless, it's comforting to know that my life is up to me. It's a pretty good feeling.
Lesson 8: Take the jump and learn to fly
I can say for sure that one of the most important things I realized last year is that is being afraid to fail is one of the most limiting things in the entire world. I know, no one wants to try something new when they feel like they won't be good at it. But sometimes, you just need to take the chance. I know it's super cliché to say "Try new things!!!" Honestly though, you just gotta go for it.
In my own experience, this practice has helped me out a lot. Like I can't say that every single endeavor I've courageously pursued has gone to great places. But I know that a lot of the things I've been allowed to do have happened because I was willing to take a chance and learn on the way.
Lesson 9: Saltwater kisses
Yes, I kissed a girl for the first time in 2016. Not gonna lie, kissing is pretty rad. When I told one of my friends about this new venture, he congratulated me but then warned me, offering these words: "Good to hear you kissed a girl. Kissing is like drinking salt water, it might quench your thirst momentarily, but it leaves you thirstier in the long run." Can't say I'm going to argue with that.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Lesson 10: Social media is fun, but real life is more fun
I'm really involved in social media. I spend a lot of time (probably too much time) scrolling through my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook feeds. And I don't think that there's really anything wrong with this, but eventually the monotony becomes killer. The lameness of attempting to live vicariously through other people's updates catches up to you and you kind of feel... empty.
Look, I love social media. But there are so many better ways to spend your time. Go camping. Go swimming. Go to a concert. Just get out and live. And don't you dare feel like your life's value is determined by likes or retweets. Because that's honestly the most ridiculous thing ever.
Lesson 11: Love without limits or conditions
There is absolutely no reason to hold back your love and your kindness from anyone. I saw this last year as I became friends with some of the most loving people I've ever met. Really, it's not that hard to be a decent person.
All the time, I hear people express frustrations that they do so much for people that never do anything for them in return. And I definitely understand their frustration, but it's also so lame. You don't give your kindness just so you can recieve kindness back. You don't love so that others will love you. If your reason for being a good person is so that others will be good to you, you need to rethink youself. To quote one of my favorite internet posts of all time: "Love people, all people. No conditions attached, no wondering if they're worthy... Life and love isn't about what you gain, it's about what you give."
Lesson 12: You don't always have to apologize
This is a dangerous lesson, because there is a very fine line between doing things for yourself and being a jerk. But I'll say it anyway.
I've found that some people feel a sense of obligation to do things because other people expect them to. This is incredibly imprisoning. Trying to live up to other people's expectations sucks because it's so hard to feel like you haven't done as well as they had hoped, and feeling as if you let them down is the worst feeling in the world.
But the thing is, you don't have to feel bad, and you don't have to apologize for not living up to someone else's artificial standards. Live your life and make your choices for you, not for someone else. It's really the most freeing thing.
Lesson 13: Timing is truly everything
One of my biggest regrets from last year is letting things expire. There were times when I had opportunities to do things, but I waited too long and missed my chance. I often had these really cool ideas, but would never make them happen because I let it go too late.
It's so funny how quickly life changes from "perfect timing" to "missed chance". When the opportunity comes, take it. Don't wait, because that only leads to regrets.
Also, don't rush into things if you're not ready. There's a lot to be said for just being patient and waiting for the proper moment. I don't know about every single situation, but I know that some things in my life would have gone better if I had just taken a moment to breathe before I rushed into them.
It's definitely hard to know if your timing is good. Figuring out how to properly time things is definitely not something I learned in 2016, so I guess I'll just have to hope that 2017 gives me a lesson on that.
Lesson 14: Live passionately and don't be embarrassed about it
I've come to know that life is much more fulfilling when you are deeply devoted to the things that make you happy. It's funny; sometimes people enjoy things but then won't show that they enjoy them, as if they're ashamed to like something.
To those people, I have one bit of advice: Once you find what sets your soul on fire, don't be afraid to show your flames.
What I mean is that people often hide their passions, their hobbies, their talents, etc. and that's a real shame. Personally, I love interacting with passionate people because they are the most exciting people to be around. In everything you do, put your heart into it. Invest yourself, and you'll be surprised how much you'll get in return.
Lesson 15: Take a day off, but then get back to work
If 2016 taught me anything, it's that you need to take a breather once in a while. There is absolutely nothing wrong with just letting yourself chill out and reset. It's incredibly helpful.
But the hard part of this lesson is coming back. Breaks are great, but restarting can often be really hard. However, if you can get to a point where you can responsibly rest and get back to work, you're golden.
Lesson 16: Don't forget to have some fun
The best part of my 2016 was that it was a lot of fun. I surrounded myself with some great people, did some awesome things, and made some great memories. To be fair, there was work and frustration and stress involved in the year too, but making an effort to have a good time made a huge difference in the course of my year.
I know that, for me, 2016 was a great year. I learned a lot, and I'm glad for all of the experiences that the year brought. 2017 is looking like it'll be a crazy year. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
