IDK
Hey guys, it's been a while.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the blog, and how I really really really suck at updating it. It's not that I don't have anything to write, it just hasn't really been flowing for me lately. Each time I try to write a post, I get stuck either because I don't know what to write about or the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right.
Today, I'll just post everything I'm thinking without any care for how it sounds. Hope for the best.
So... graduation is in 34 days. I'm not really freaking out, like I think it'll be fine and everything. Just another necessary step in life, right? What I'm actually a little worried about is the speech that I'm going to have to give. Really I've actually always thought it would be sick to speak at graduation and I'm excited to do it, but I'm just so worried I'm going to mess it up. I don't know what to say and I'm afraid the speech won't have the impact I want it to.
I guess I'll just have to live with it.
With graduation, I've been thinking about where I've been over the past three years. It's crazy to look back on my high school experience because it's been such a crazy journey with so many turns I never expected. I'm happy for the way things turned out, though. I know that not everyone can say they enjoyed high school, but I can. And that's something I'm so happy about.
I will end high school with very few of the same people I started it with. And while some people might take that as a reason to be sad, I think it's the sickest thing ever. I'm not saying I'm happy about losing contact with some old friends (because that sucks) but I'm happy for the new people I've been able to meet along the way. The fact that I've been able to make so many friends (even if that meant sacrificing some old ones) has shaped me as a person and changed my perspective on things.
And that's a reason to be happy.
One of the main themes in this post is that I'm a really happy guy. I know I've dealt a really good hand and I have a lot of reasons to be happy. But wowza, storytime.
So last night, I was not happy. I don't know exactly what caused it, but something was just off. I went to school like normal and then went to work after and everything was fine. But after work. I was required to go to one of our school activities for prom (a karaoke night), and I just wasn't having it. I wasn't really mad, it was just that I didn't need to be there (I literally wasn't doing anything, I was just supposed to be there just for the sake of being there) and for some reason I just felt like I would have rather been anywhere else in the world. As the activity went on, I just got more and more annoyed with myself. I saw all of these people around me singing and laughing and having a great time, and I wasn't one of them. I couldn't force myself to be happy, and that failure was so frustrating. I went off by myself for a few minutes and tried to sort through things, but nothing came. The weird funk pressed on, and I couldn't do anything to shake it off.
By then, my lifeline came. This lifeline came in the form of my incredible friend Jane. Jane said, "What are the odds you'd sing?" I told her I kind of wanted to but I would only do it if it was in the form of a duet with my friend Tyler. Well, Jane worked some magic and all of a sudden I found myself at the front of the small gathering getting ready to sing Avicii's "The Nights" with Tyler. So we sang, and the funk faded away, replaced by a newfound energy and excitement I hadn't felt all day.
And so ultimately, my night turned out great. I was happy and I got to spend time with my best friends and it was great. I don't really know what the moral of this story is other than the fact that you NEED good friends like Jane to pull you up when you're down. Thanks Jane, love you.
And so here's the weirdest blog post I've ever written. Hope you enjoyed it.
--GD